Spending Time With Your Loved One
Seeing someone after they have died is your choice. It is never required.
Some people need to. Some people do not. Both are normal, and we have seen both many times.
We will explain the options gently and arrange a time and setting that feels right for your family. Call us on (04) 385 0745 whenever you are ready to talk.
Should you see them
There is no right answer. We will support your choice and make sure you feel comfortable with whatever you decide.
Families who do see them often say it helped. It made things real, or it settled something. Families who choose not to say much the same about their decision.
You can also change your mind at the door. That happens more than you would think.
And you do not all have to go in together. If some of the family want to and some do not, we will arrange separate times.
What to expect
Our rooms are quiet, and you will have one to yourselves.
At Willis Street there are two smaller reflection lounges as well as the chapel. Your family will have privacy and as much time as you need. [TBC: viewings at Johnsonville and Karori, and how long a family can stay]
They will be in the clothes you have chosen, and they will have been cared for. Everyone in our care is looked after that way, whatever you decide about the funeral.
Before you visit, we will explain what to expect and answer any questions with care and honesty.
Can children come
Yes. Children can come, and they understand more than adults expect.
They cope best when they know what is coming. Use simple, honest words. Let them ask whatever they want to ask, and answer plainly.
Give them something small to do. Drawing a picture to leave. Placing a flower.
Let them take breaks. Let them leave when they have had enough. Two minutes counts.
Bringing them home
Many families want time at home first, and we support that.
There are health and legal requirements and they depend on the circumstances. Tell us early and we will tell you what is possible. [TBC: what health and legal requirements allow at home, in practice]
For whānau holding a tangihanga, time at home or on the marae is usually where things start, not an exception to arrange around. Say so on the first call and we will work to it.
Do they need to be embalmed
No, not always. Viewings can often go ahead without embalming.
Embalming preserves someone’s appearance and gives you longer. It is worth discussing if the funeral is more than a few days away, or if you want an open casket at the service.
Either way, everyone in our care receives hygiene and preparation care. We do not charge for that.
A private farewell
You do not need a formal viewing to spend time with them.
A private farewell can happen in our chapel, in a viewing room, or at your house. No service, no other people, no set length of time.
Some families do this instead of a viewing. Some do both.
We will arrange a time that feels right
You do not need to know what feels right before you call. We will explain the possibilities, listen to what matters to your family and arrange the time and setting for you.